cope in a sexless marriageKnowing how to cope in a sexless marriage can be a tough thing to learn as the stress, rejection and unhappiness can really get to you. However good coping strategies are essential especially if you are going to try to fix a sexless marriage because that can be a whole new level of problems you need to overcome!

I know my coping strategies after a year or so with sex maybe only every couple of months were very bad. I became angry, erratic and poured all of my frustrated energy into activities that really did not help and many of them i never finished either. In fact, I still need to finish learning to paint and kickbox! … not at the same time though :P

After a time from my own experiences and talking to some other men and women in similar situations online a came up with a few strategies that helped me cope with a sexless marriage. Here are some quick tips.

  • Affirmations - Some people scoff at these but i think they work wonders! Basically it is a way of repeating phrases and ideas to yourself over and over to retrain your brain to think in a different more positive way. I knew I needed to be more positive on a lot of fronts and this helped me to think in a new life and cope better. This book helped me understand affirmations better.
  • Journal – I had not kept a diary or journal since i was a teenager but this was another coping strategy that made coping with a sexless marriage a bit easier. The reason was that i felt ashamed to speak to many people about this situation as a woman and was bad at expressing my feelings to myself even. Writing down what i was feeling and things that were happening allowed me to delve a bit deeper into my own mental issues and straighten them out. It was a kind of relief to write down some things i could never say aloud and have it as a real record. Later it even helped me to fix my sexless marriage though it would not be wise to show this to your partner for the most part!
  • Increase Intimacy – I do not mean sexual intimacy here. I mean the small things that I had been neglecting as much as my husband had. Just adding a few more gently touches, an extra few kisses, a random hug every now and then. Eye contact! A Smile! These things did not solve everything straight away but it was a case of karma where if you give unconditionally it is rewarded and the intimacy returned to a certain level making the everyday living a bit 4asier and giving a platform to tackle the bigger issues.

So if you are struggling, and want to know how to cope in a sexless marriage try these tips and they may help you to get into a better state of mind. From there you CAN stop living in a sexless relationship and bring back the passion and intimacy that has been missing. I know because i have been there so hang in and know the future can be better! :)

~ Nancy